As promised

Okay, so in the post about my friend Sam, I promised to blog a little about my online friends and my "message board" (MB) days. So here goes. I'll try to keep it short (although I rarely do).

Sept 12, 1999: I wandered upon the official Friends message board through the WB site. I had became a Friends fanatic not too long before that (I think during a summer of constant reruns that I watched about 13 times a week I counted once). At any rate, it was your normal message board. A nice little community of people who all mostly came there because of their interest in the tv show. People from all over the US and the world. England, Scotland, Denmark, France, Greece, some other random places...and of course from all over the US. I'm sure I lurked around for a few days, reading other people's posts and threads before I finally decided to introduce myself. I'm sure when I did introduce myself, it was as dumb as everyone else who did over the course of the next couple of years that I was there most every day for hours.

Then I had this great idea that I was going to write a short story for my creative writing class about some of these people. I chose the first 5 people to respond: Happytown (Josh), Blid (Chris), Rach (LisaMarie), Nutshell (Lisa H.), and eakarink (Elise, aka, Lisey). Most of them already knew each other cause they were already member of this MB which probably had 100+ regular posters. I never wrote my story, but the 6 of us became fast friends, spending time playing silly games and pranks on our board and on other boards. We once took over the Charmed board during a game of virtual truth or dare. There was just far too many of us and we had too much solidarity (and arrogance about our tv show) for them to even compete with us. Within a few hours, the first few pages of their message board was filled with threads about how much Charmed sucked and various rude comments about the actresses on the show. So anyway, from there, we'd IM (instant message) each other and create chat rooms on AIM and stay up all night long chatting. I once skipped almost an entire week of class because I'd stay up all night online, and barely make it up to go to work at 12 or 2 in the afternoon, much less get up for class. That was at the height of it. At any rate, after about the turn of the new year I believe, 2000, yes, Y2K, Sam became part of our group. Not quiet sure when she joined us, but it was near that time. So yeah, that made 7 of us.

Anyway, these people became a total support system for me. My old roomate Bea used to call them my "imaginary" friends, which annoyed me actually because during that time in my life, I spent much more time talking with then than I did real people. We knew all about each others days, we comforted each other when bad things happened. We listened to each other gripe, gave advice on important life issues. During that time also, Chris and LisaMarie became very close. They were both seniors in high school at the time, and, having a total crush, Chris got himself a scholarship to American University in Washington, D.C. where Lisa was heading to school. They met the summer before that, decided to become a couple officially after they met (cause in their words "it'd be dumb to date someone you'd never met"). Anyway, they've been a couple ever since and recently got engaged. I think they both graduated college, he got a job somewhere, and she's in Law School right now. I think they are getting married next summer.

Oh, another fun thing we used to do was write stories about our MB friends. Some of them were quiet humorous. I even wrote a couple. I also became the "god" of the message board, officially. Someone asked how I was doing one day, and I said, "I'm god...i'm just doing...nothing." From that time one, I was the Official MB Deity (it was even in my signature). Anyhow, these relationships have continued for over 5 years now. We go through phases where we'll talk a lot, and then sometimes none at all. We also have habits. I always talk to Chris and Lisa during the NCAA tourney. Never fails, once the brackets are announced, I see Chris online and BAM! I have a message popping up on my screen. Now Josh, I talk to him the most, nearly every day or two. Elise, we go in spurts. We're not in a spurt right now, but maybe we will be soon. She goes to Cornell University in Ithaca, NY. She also makes these awesome purses out of Duc Tape. For real. I ordered one for my friend for Christmas in 2003 cause she loves weird purses. Got a nice little hand written note with it. To which I showed to Bea and said "see, they are real!" Went through the same spurts with Sam. I talked to her quiet a bit after I moved out to California. She was in her freshman year of college at that time. When we talked, we talked a lot.

Anyway, all that said, these people are definately "real" people to me. Not only that, they are friends. We take interest in each others lives. Yeah, it's hard to keep in touch all the time, especially when you've never met (Chris and Lisa obviously have met, and Lisa met Lisey as well), but hey, its hard for anyone to keep in touch all the time with all everyone has goign on these days. But we're still there to support each other. For a while, when something bad went on in our lives, we were there for each other. In fact, the one thing I remember most about 9/11 is that I was on the MB that day. And it was just amazing the amount of love and compassion that was there, especially from people from other countries. And it was like I was talking to them because I had to. I was talking to them because it seemed natural. They were people I felt comfortable enough with to talk about my feelings then, and even still now. I love getting random IMs from old MB people, even the ones not in our little group. And I love it when they remember little details about my life that I don't expect them to remember.

So yeah, call me weird, but I guess I don't think friendship is necessarily about how much time you spend with someone hanging out. I've had plenty of friends that I spent tons of time with, and I've had other friends that I rarely see, but when we do talk, even if on the phone, or email, it's pretty special to me. It takes that whole "out of sight, out of mind" saying and throws it right out the window. Sure, it would be easy to forget the people you don't see, but when you make a conscious effort to NOT let them get out of your mind, and lose contact with them, then that tells you that there is something about that relationship and that person that is special enough, and makes it worth it to hang on to those "spurts".

So now, when I talk about my "online" friends, I rarely throw in the "online" part, unless someone asks how I know them. I usually just say "my friend..." because thats what these people are. Call me silly, I don't care. But these people played one of the most important roles in my life at one point, and for that reason, they will always be my friends.

As for Sam, it was such a tragic ending for such a sweet, fun-loving, caring, beautiful girl. However, it is encouraging to see a couple of things. 1. Just how if effected so many people, especially online people. She had a lot of online friends she was close to, so reading blogs, and message boards about it is just amazing. The second thing is that her parents started a foundation, the Sam Spady Foundation to educate people on binge drinking and how to look for the signs of alcohol poisoning. Got a lot of national attention. They were on Dr. Phil and there is an article in the May issue of Seventeen Magazine about Sam. At least now, Sam's life (and death) and have an impact on even more people.